Has that surprised you?? Well actually I stand corrected, I USED to be a terrible control freak. I would write lists (often revolving around food & gym classes), I would plan how to use my time wisely and heaven forbid that something didn’t go according to my plan, I would lose the plot and get really stressed (often turning to chocolate to calm me dow!)
The irony was that the more control I ‘tried’ to have particularly around my food, weight & eating, the more bat-shit crazy I felt and behaved!!! Know what I mean??
You see most of us think the opposite of being crazy is to be in control but being in control (too much) actually creates the crazy in the first place.
One of the first steps in finding your peace around food, eating and ultimately with yourself is to learn how to drop the control freak. I always get my clients to stop fighting food and to ditch those weighing scales as the very first things they do.
Most woman look at me like I’ve lost my mind… ‘how the hell can that make me feel more in control if I can’t weigh myself and if I can eat what I want?!?!’ (weighing scales and food restrictions are incidentally nothing other than control mechanisms which we all have but some more than others)
It’s not the fear of letting our control around food and control of our weight go by the way
It’s our fear of things other than food and weight that keep us resistant towards letting go of dieting.
…fear of what other people will think of us
…fear of facing the stresses of our normal life i.e. reality
… fear of having to feel uncomfortable feelings and emotions which have always been pushed down with food or suppressed through diets
…fear of realising that our job/marriage/relationship is actually pretty crap but we are scared of what to do about it
Here’s the thing – can you really control those things anyway?
Totally not!! We can’t control other people’s opinions & we can’t control life’s ups and downs. We can try and diet away our feelings though by focusing on food and weight but realistically that doesn’t get us anywhere anyway. We then end up feeling deprived, fed up and hungry(!) and the only answer to all of that is to sit infront of the TV with a family size bag of chips and a huge bar of chocolate.
Letting go of the things I couldn’t control – for me that was other people’s opinions – is something which made a HUGE difference and prevented that crazy control freak to come back. (I still work on this even now, letting go of any perceptions I have of what someone might think about me!)
So your turn. What do you try and control? What aspects and areas of your life are run by that crazy control freak? How would it be for you to let some of that control go?
Post your comments below, I’d love to hear more.